Haya - “bashfulness”, “decency”, “modesty”, “shyness.”
These words provide the most basic meaning of haya, a term which has been cloaked in a perspective that can sometimes be harmful, particularly for women in Islam. Having haya is to harbor a deeper sense of moral and spiritual consciousness which guides the people of Islam towards sustaining moral behavior and avoiding situations that compromise such modesty. This outwa
rd look on the word reveals a veneer of beauty within Islam, but it has also been skewed on the cultural front to a point in which it’s used to silence Muslim women in particular - why is that?
Before misinterpretations and cultural biases continue to entrench themselves any further, it is crucial that we provide a more nuanced understanding of haya — an understanding that aligns with the true essence of Islamic teachings, one that promotes the equity and respect clearly laid out in the Quran.
Haya is instilled in us as a way to embody the Islamic teaching of being kind to one another and to not be arrogant. However, people tend to get lost on the surface level words, specifically the term ‘shy’. I think the misconception comes from the fact that it is indoctrinated in Islam for men to be caretakers. Furthermore, within the same vain, some may use this as a vindication to see women as the only people who are — because they don’t necessarily have to work outside the home, and because they are caretakers in a different yet equally beneficial way — subjected to the rules of modesty. Men and women, in this view of haya, are not placed on the same pedestal of expectation.
Most people believe that to be shy is to have no backbone, to not stand up for yourself, and to not stand up for yourself means to have people walk all over you, and to have people walk all over you means you may not be doing a very great job at taking care of your family. There is this cycle of finding one misconception after another, and getting lost in that word “shyness” is the thing that perpetuates this distorted idea of what haya is. Furthermore, the reasoning behind haya being thrown onto women more than it is to men is because of the traditional gender roles deeply ingrained in many cultures, rather than the core principles of Islam.
Patriarchism is deeply rooted in society, and this perpetuates the notion that women should bear the burden of modesty and shyness. As stated before, women don’t necessarily have to work outside the home, but that does not mean that they can’t. The stereotypical expectation for women to only have the choice of staying at home, or else they won’t be respected, limits women’s potential and overlooks the skills and talents that they do possess. From a conservative religious viewpoint, it is highly regarded to maintain a certain level of separation, or avoidance of, close relationships between individuals who are considered non-mahrams (permissible to marry). In that regard should we stop women from getting an education, not fulfilling the encouragement from Allah (SWT) because a non-mahram is teaching the class? Should we stop women from becoming doctors, negating the fact that some women must be treated without a hijab on? Islam promotes universal access to healthcare and education, which must be understood. Establishing a balance that aligns with Islamic principles while respecting professional standards ensures that women can actively participate in these fields without compromising their faith.
These discourses get harder to navigate as we are in the West, but that does not mean they do not apply. As women, we have situations very unique to us in which we may need a female scholar to give some insight from an Islamic perspective, yet there’s discourse on whether or not women should be providing dawah. I used ‘equity’ earlier instead of ‘equality’ as Allah (SWT) has made us different as individuals, and because of that, we have different duties and obligations, but not when it comes to haya. We all have a moral obligation to be just, to not be arrogant, to be kind, and that is what the essence of haya is. Through embodying and understanding haya’s true meaning, we pave the way for a society grounded in respect, equity and compassion, promoting an environment where we thrive and contribute to the betterment of humanity.
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